#47: Montpeliers, Bruntsfield Place, Edinburgh

Montpeliers, Bruntsfield Place, Edinburgh (exterior)

Montpeliers has been around for a good while now. When I lived nearby around 14 years ago it was already a bit of an institution with what the lads have labelled “the morningside set” in their notes, i.e. yahs, posh knobs etc. Even back then it was a bit pricy. That’s not changed but it’s got a lot more competition these days. Even in the neighbourhood the Links Bar is similarly priced and The Blackbird down the hill isn’t far behind. The food isn’t even that expensive, just a few quid above your average bar food, except the obvious things like steaks etc which are always pricy.

Inside it’s a bit dark, even during the day, I assume just for atmosphere. It’s nicely presented, quite stylish with a certain amount of woodenness, mirrors and fancy wallpaper. My hastily taken photos are quite pish though, perhaps due to the dimness, so I’ll just not put them up. I’ll try to get some better ones eventually.

As part of Montpeliers (Edinburgh) Limited, this is owned by the same group as Tigerlily, Lulu, Opal Lounge, Ricks, Indigo Yard and Candy Bar.

As with the previous 5 pubs ticked off on the same night, I was absent on this occasion. So I’m surprised to learn that there’s a downstairs of some sort. The lads didn’t say what was down there, just that there was a “funny smell downstairs.”

Instead of the usual “NO DAVE” plus a big tick in the lads’ notes, it’s got “MISSING DAVE”. Aww. That’ll be the 6 pints.

Beer

The website says: “We’ve recently introduced a new craft range to Montpeliers, we’re serious about good beer.” Here’s their list of “craft” beers from the drinks menu: Innis & Gunn Lager and Original, Harviestoun Schiehallion, Coors Blue Moon, Belhaven Best, Sharp’s Doom Bar, Guinness, and Caledonian Deuchars. It just goes to show that “craft” is totally meaningless now. I might give you Schiehallion and maybe even Deuchars at a push, and some may argue for several of the others. But Guinness? Seriously? Who in their right mind thinks Guinness is a craft beer by any definition of the term? It’s like something straight out of Tim Lovejoy’s “Let There Be Beer” nonsense. I won’t link to that here on principle, but there’s a parody on Twitter @lettherebetim that’s worth a look for a laugh.

Sorry, rant over. According to their online menu (cos the lads were obviously not even trying by this point in the evening), the above beers are all on draught along with these too under the heading “World Beers”: Grolsch Blonde, Carling, Peroni, Estrella, Budvar, Krušovice, Asahi, Cobra, and Coors Light. Certainly world beers, hardly inspiring. There are more bottled beers from the likes of Williams Brothers, Harviestoun, Sharp’s, Innis & Gunn, again under the “craft” heading, along with some bigger names like Grolsch, Peroni, Tiger, etc, etc.

The round was £17.75 for 4 pints (3 Schielhallion and 1 Estrella), around £4.45 per pint. The lads put this down as a “substantial but manageable ned tax.”

Food

Evening meals from £9 to £18, and a cheaper daytime menu. They’ve got nachos, but no chilli, only veggie or chicken.

Amenities

The notes from the lads for this section just make no sense, the booze clearly taking its toll:

Background
Quality
Wallpaper. Wood. Wallpaper contains testes.
1 redeeming feature B&S a la Tiger Milk (upvote).

Apart from the Belle & Sebastian reference, I can only guess that maybe they liked the wallpaper. Maybe it’s very manly wallpaper, the glue made from a bull’s undercarriage for extra testosterone. Your guess is as good as mine.

Castle View

No.

Contacts

Website: Montpeliers Bar & Brasserie
Twitter: @montpeliers_bar
Facebook: Montpeliers-Bar-Brasserie
Parent: Montpeliers (Edinburgh) Limited

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